why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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