She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
