Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
