So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
