I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
