guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
nutella sex= disaster
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
