I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
