if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to stop coming to work sober
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
