the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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