Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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