How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
