guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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