Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
