omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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