She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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