dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
