just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
