I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
