I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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