Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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