I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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