i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
