What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
