whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
