my vag is so smooth its legendary
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
