I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
