my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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