her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
