youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
