I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
