I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my fart just growled at me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
