So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
