Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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