We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
