we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
