it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
