Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
