dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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