I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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