Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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