i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
