why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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