she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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