can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Congratulations! We have a period
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
