Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
