cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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