i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
