I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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