I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
