well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
