Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize