So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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