he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
