I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
