The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
