Well douche your snatch and let's go!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
