i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
