Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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